14 thoughts on “Best Sports Uniforms, Helmets, Mascots, Etc.

  1. I watched the video with the sound turned all the way down because I just don’t have it in me today to listen to Cowherd talk for more nearly nine minutes.

    His list is hardly surprising: it’s ultra-conservative, with a heavy bias against radically different ideas. So although I can’t really blame him for his five worst, I can’t agree either because these unis are singular, something I admire. Look at his fifth best: Michigan. The Wolverines helmets are awesome, but the jerseys and pants are about as conservative as conservative gets. I like the Steelers bumblebees because it makes the players look tough, like a cross between a prison team and a steel-workers’ weekend team. I think it’s a much better look than what they sport now — that union insignia or whatever it is on the helmets is boring and forgettable.

    I hated the Astros rainbow jerseys when they were still wearing them, but I like them now, especially the white jerseys with the rainbow stripe across the tops of the sleeves and shoulders. A better candidate for the same era would be the Pirates’ pillbox hat unis. I never liked those.

    I remember not caring for the Buccaneers creamsicles when I was a kid, but I also remember most of my friends loving those unis. When I look at them now I kind of like them, and I especially love that helmet.

    I even think the White Sox shorts should have been given a fairer try. I think it’s kind of a good look — much better than the super baggy, super long pantlegs on teams today. Those look sloppy as heck. I think the White Sox shorts look kind of sharp. Shoot, they don’t look very different from the pants Marcus Allen wore for most of his Raiders career: tight and ending above the knee.

    What really annoys the crap out of me is his pick for best uni. Does Cowherd not understand the meaning of the word “uniform?” It’s not a uniform if only one person is wearing it. You could kind of call a maid’s uniform a uniform even if she’s the only one in a house who’s wearing it because other maids elsewhere are wearing it (that’s why we think of the same thing when we refer to a maid’s uniform). But when one person on the planet wears the same thing one day out of the week? That’s not a uniform. Idiot.

    And I freaking LOVE Tiger’s red shirt. I’ve been wearing red to work on Friday (or the end of the work week, whenever it is: I’m wearing red today, in fact) for more than ten years because of Tiger. Oddly, I was rethinking this practice a couple of weeks ago but now that Tiger’s won again I’m not changing a thing.

    It’s just not a uni.

    I also kind of think it’s playing a little outside reasonable boundaries to pick color rush unis, but whatever. If special occasion unis are fair game, I’m putting the Miami Heat Vice unis (the black ones especially) in my top five.

    I’ll think about this list a bit more before I post mine. Just had to voice my displeasure with Cowherd so I could get back to editing this thing I’m working on.

  2. I like the Steelers bumblebees because it makes the players look tough, like a cross between a prison team and a steel-workers’ weekend team. I think it’s a much better look than what they sport now — that union insignia or whatever it is on the helmets is boring and forgettable.

    I disagree. I think these are one of the worst uniforms, and they don’t look tough to me. Also, don’t they use their current helmets (which I agree isn’t all that great.) Their current uniform/helmets are disappointing given that they have such a cool team name.

    A better candidate for the same era would be the Pirates’ pillbox hat unis. I never liked those.

    But if you’re using the singular criterion, you couldn’t choose these. For what it’s worth, I liked their hats as a kid, and I don’t think the uniforms are as bad as the Astros. (I don’t really have a strong aversion for the Astros unis, but I get why they’re on the list.)

    I remember not caring for the Buccaneers creamsicles when I was a kid, but I also remember most of my friends loving those unis. When I look at them now I kind of like them, and I especially love that helmet.

    These uniforms are unique and the Buccaneer logo is cool looking, but I think there is a kind of effeminate, almost flaming, quality to them.

    even think the White Sox shorts should have been given a fairer try.

    The thing that comes to mind: Their legs are going to get killed on slides.

    I agree that Tiger’s outfit is not a uniform, but I think Cowherd knows that, and he’s just putting it on there because he really, really likes the look. The look is cool, but not enough for me to warrant violating the rules.

    1. The Pirates pillbox hats weren’t one-offs, were they? They wore them for years I think. They were such a distinguishing characteristic that Topps cards in ’81, which featured a cartoon drawing of the player’s team cap on the front, used a different template for the Pirates to match their odd cap shape.

      1. Yeah, I think the Pirates used those uniforms for a few years.

        Another uniform I didn’t really like came to mind–the Golden State Warriors. I want to say all the iterations were kinda bad.

        Also, the 80’s Denver Nuggests uniform, which I never really cared for, although they were kinda unique, reminds me of the old Astros uniforms.

  3. Okay I’m ready to give my five best and five worst.

    Best
    1. Oakland Raiders
    I’m biased, sure, but the silver and black is such a classic bad guy look in the NFL, and while they may no longer be the Darth Vader of the league, in my heart they still are. Plus, whenever they survey NFL players about who has the nicest uni, the Raiders always win, so it’s not just bias.

    2. New York Yankees
    The pinstripes only — no other version of their uni. Ruth. Gehrig. Mantle. Costanza.

    3. San Diego State football
    The unis they’ve been using for the past few years. If there were a little more history with these, they might be my number two.

    4. Los Angeles Dodgers
    Maybe it’s also because of the history, but I don’t like the Dodgers and have always liked the Dodger Blue. Although the Yankees are the team that represents baseball best, if I had to choose just one cap to be the cap of all baseball, I’d pick the Dodgers cap.

    5. Carolina Panthers
    If I didn’t hate the Cowboys so much, I might go with them, partially for the simplicity and iconic status of their helmets, but this is a list of nicest uniforms, and I don’t have any nice thoughts when I see that uniform. So give me the black and teal of the Panthers. Their unis have gone through multiple changes so I can’t really point to one as the one I like best, but something with a nice balance of the black, teal, and white, probably. I especially like the helmet as worn by Cam Newton, with that visor.

    Worst
    1. San Diego Padres
    This hurts a little because I always have a soft spot for the Padres. My grandparents lived there, and my uncle still lives there, and most of the major league games I’ve seen were Padres games (even the three games I saw in Aloha Stadium), but brown and yellow? Ick. There was a time when they used a lot of blue in their unis and I liked that look, but they keep going back to brown. I will say that the friar cartoon character they sometimes have on their merch is really cute — I wore a Padres cap for quite a while with the friar on it.

    2. Denver Broncos
    Some years, when the orange is closer to red, I can almost handle their unis, but I have never liked the color orange — it’s my least favorite color, with mustard yellow and lime green a close second and third.

    3. San Diego / Los Angeles Chargers
    I like the helmets, sort of, but I do not like powder blue. I thought the Chargers unis with the darker blue looked great (I also like the Cowboys blue jerseys) but San Diego seems determined to make the powder blue their trademark. Ick. I might be able to handle it if their other color wasn’t yellow. Powder blue and yellow!

    4. Cleveland Browns
    More brown and orange. Who thinks this is a good look?

    5. Pittsburgh Steelers
    The uni they’ve been wearing for the past several years, with the horrible font for the jersey numbers. They only narrowly beat out the Ravens, whose jersey number font I also hate.

    1. Oh, I forgot about San Diego State Aztecs–especially the helmets. Those helmets alone might make them one of the cooler uniforms.

      4. Cleveland Browns
      More brown and orange. Who thinks this is a good luck?

      I assume you meant, “look?” In any event, while I don’t think this is one of the worst, the helmet and uniforms are disappointing. I feel like they deserve something a lot better, but I do think coming up with a cool uniform and helmet would be a challenge.

  4. Off the top of my head:

    Best:

    1. Raiders–Almost the colors alone make them one of the best uniforms, but their logo is one of the better ones in my opinion.

    2. Yankees–agree about the pinstripes.

    3. Oregon Ducks–They have many, but I’d pick one with the “chrome” helmets. Those are badass.

    4. Cowboys–classic look

    5. Spurs–the silver and black again, but I like their logo, too.

    Worst

    1. Jaguars–with the two tone helmts and that yellowish uniforms.

    2. Buccaneers–the newer uniforms utilizing brown.

    3. Golden State Warriors

    4. Steelers–bumble-bee unis. Awful.

    5. Maryland Terrapins (football)

    By the way, I don’t watch the NBA very much, but glancing at some of the uniforms, it’s possible my top 5 worst could be filled with all NBA teams.

  5. I did mean look. I also meant Los Angeles Chargers. Edited both.

    I love what Maryland is doing with its football unis. The strange helmets and ever-changing unis are cool. It can be hit-or-miss, but I like the willingness to try something new.

    There have been years when the Jags unis were really nice. They also rock the black and teal look. But yeah, those mustard yellow unis (and helmets!) have to go.

    I also really dislike the Seawhawks’ move to the Gatorgum green. It’s a bad look — especially on the color rush unis.

    1. There have been years when the Jags unis were really nice.

      Oh yeah. When they first came into the league, I really liked their uniforms and helmets. Wished they just play with that now.

      I also really dislike the Seawhawks’ move to the Gatorgum green. It’s a bad look — especially on the color rush unis.

      I’m not sure what the Gatorgum green is. I’m pretty neutral about the Seahawks unis and helmets in general, although I dislike the color rush ones, but I generally dislike the color rush for all teams.

  6. The color of green Gatorgum. This is the only image I could find of the gum itself but nothing else on the planet was this color until the Seahawks. Too bad the lighting is so bad in this shot or its (formerly) unique color would really be evident.

      1. Oh, then I wasn’t thinking of the right uniform. I googled gatorgum green and seahawks and this is one of the images.

        I don’t have any problems with the ones you show above.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *